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The zine is called Shannon Cason’s Easier Said: Stories I’ve Told on Folded Sheets of Paper, Stapled.

Zine are all about independent artists, activists, and others getting their original ideas and thoughts into loving hands, hearts, and minds. I’m all about that kind of shit, even though I don’t dye my hair or have one tattoo.

Support independent art by attending the Chicago Zine Fest at 1104 S Wabash 3/9 from 11-6pm (chicagozinefest.org). But first support my independent ass! Buy a zine and I’ll send it to you…That easy!

BUY THIS ZINE NOW!!! →

I was walking around New York preparing for a show at McNally Jackson Bookstore when I got an email saying that Snap Judgement wanted to use my story. Cool shit.

So take a listen to my NPR Snap Judgement produced story, Insidious.

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I had a wonderful time chatting with you at your office…I’d be willing to do anything, and I mean anything, for this job.”

Just send a professional email.

2. …after a one-night-stand if you’re a woman. You’re bound to sound like you’re lying.

I don’t usually do that! I’m so embarrassed. That was the first time that ever happened! We should start over and do something fun soon. Like a date or something. Call me.”

He will call you back after midnight some day in the future. Count on it.

3. …after a one-night-stand if you’re a man. You’re bound to say the wrong thing.

I’m so glad we met last night. I needed that. I’m mean you are so sexy, baby. I was so backed up. Now I’m drained. You drained me baby. Just wanted to say, thank you.”

Just never call again. Or send a random text relating to nothing – “I just saw a crazy man eating a dead rat.” Do something more awkward to break the initial awkwardness.

4. …if you’re looking for an apartment and you’re a black guy (like me) with a deep voice. You’re bound to sound like you’re faking.

Hello, I was calling about the wonderful apartment you had listed. I am in the market for such apartments like yours in the area and would love to have the chance to view your domicile at your convenience.”

It’s best to have your white friend leave the message, or better yet a gay friend.

5. …if it’s something really serious that should be said in person. You’re bound to sound too harsh and destroy someone’s day, maybe life.

I’m just calling to tell you, Mommy died. It was a gruesome accident. Call me.”

Don’t do that!

6. …if it’s something really serious that should be said in person. You’re bound to scare the shit out of someone.

I told you to go to the 7-11, but you really should get checked. I tried to stop you, but seriously, wait a few weeks then get checked. Don’t call me.” 

Don’t do that!

There’s a million other circumstances, but check out my friend Dillon’s video about leaving terrible voicemails. I haven’t left a voicemail in about 4 years because I always mess it up like this guy.

The video is called Paris, Kentucky.

Dillon Ward is a director, producer, and makes cool stuff with cameras and computers. Check him out at:

charlesdillonward.weebly.com

vimeo.com/charlesdillonward

facebook.com/pages/Paris-Kentucky-short-film/318996848210218

Looking forward to working with him in the future.

Download on iTunes:

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/homemade-stories/id344499708

or Listen here: 

http://traffic.libsyn.com/shannoncason/I_Love_Dance.mp3

To go to article, click the link:

http://www.wbez.org/blogs/onstagebackstage/2012-10/memo-chicago-men-wear-more-suits-103232

That sounds stuffy. Actually it is what it says it is: a lot of grown ass folks getting together and telling stories. Funny. Sad. Crazy. Weird. Honest. It’s the third Thursday of every month at The Silver Room in Wicker Park (1442 N Milwaukee Ave).

I remember the first time I went. A friend told me about it – I forget who – but I went. I felt like I had walked into Janet Jackson’s That’s the  Way Love Goes video. Like I should’ve worn a sea shell choker to fit in. Big open space. Everyone looked bohem-cool. Everyone was hugging like they knew each other. The women were looking good. Really good. So good that I didn’t want to be left out of all the hugging, so I just jumped in. One woman asked, “Do I know you?” I thought the best response would be, “No, but I love your head wrap.”

Here’s one of my Grown Folks Stories:

Her mother would say she hadn’t spoken to her daughter for two weeks. Her friends would say it had been about that long – two weeks. A Missing Person’s was unreported because everyone said Rachel was known to drop off the face of the Earth at times. Later, it would be evident she danced at a Las Vegas gentlemen’s club on occasion.

The unknown driver fled the stolen foreign vehicle after the collision. The city worker who witnessed the accident asked the other driver with the caved-in hood, “Did he just run away?”

“Yeah, he just ran. So you saw that? Fucking weird.”

There would be 15 Missing Person’s Reports that fit Rachel Harrisburg’s profile. The investigation remains unsolved.

Click Pic for full view

1. He Actually Tries to Listen to You

He zones out occasionally, but for the most part he’s trying to listen. This is your best opportunity to get to know each other and possibly develop a relationship. There’s a chemical released during sex that inhibits his ability to focus on what you’re saying longer than five-minute spurts. Before sex, he may be able to hold multiple marathon-high-school phone conversations with you till 4am. After sex, the released chemical prohibits it.

2. He Notices All Your Positives

This man is looking at you with rose-colored glasses. He sees everything that is wonderful about you. You can actually probe this for information: “What do you like about me?” Your smile, your body, the cutest face, you smell so good, you’re funny as hell. He’s selling himself on a reason to invest his time, money, and attention.

After sex, all the negatives are glaring. I had a friend say he stopped talking to this woman because she had old hands. “Her hands look like my grandma’s hands. All veiny and shit. Ugh.” Do you honestly think he noticed that before sex? No he didn’t. I’ve heard, “Her abdomen is too long…with those short ass legs. Her un-proportionate ass. Ugh.” Solidify your positives by holding out longer.

3. He Tries Not To Say Anything Stupid

This is hard. Almost impossible. But he tries. As he is trying to listen to your story about being stalked by this guy you went out with “like only two times”, he’s trying not to say, “Bullshit! Ain’t nobody stalking your long abdomen ass. C’mon Son… getdafuckouttaherewitdatbullshit.” It may slip, but he’s trying.

After sex, he speaks at will.

4. He Holds His Fart

You’re probably holding yours too. My advice is to keep holding yours – forever – I hate hearing women fart. But he’s definitely holding his. He wants maintain a squeaky clean image in your mind, and improve all possibility of chance that you may put your warm wet mouth in the vicinity of that area at any moment’s notice. That’s the only reason he’s holding it.

5. He Exercises

Even if he doesn’t actually make it to the gym, he thinks about it. He wants to work on his stamina and muscle definition to impress you and put it down when the opportunity arises. Touch his arm. Tight, huh? He’s been working out.

Extra news for you: He’s actually doing push-ups in the bathroom right before you’re about to give it up. That’s what’s taking him so long. He’s using Wonder 8 Oil to get all shiny, slippery sexy for you. After sex, he’s ashy, eating pizza. Hold out to get your future man in shape.

*Disclaimer: I write for regular folks. Regular men and women. Not players, pimps, or hoodrats. Squares who care about their credit score, have read a book in the past five years (outside of prison), and pay mortgages. There are cultures where beauty supply jewelry and twenty ones with a $100 on top is the only prerequisite for you to give it up. You’re selling yourself cheap though – I’m just trying to help. It will catch up with your fast ass!

Click link to listen

The Windy City Story Slam is Saturday (5/26) held at the Viaduct Theater (3111 N Western) at 10pm (late-night) and will feature:

Irvine Welsh (Author of Trainspotting and Skagboys)

Marc Smith (Creator of slam poetry)

Samantha Irby (Bitches Gotta Eat blog)

Scott Whitehair (Producer of This Much Is True)

Luis Perez (Radio personality at Vocalo)

Patrick  Salem (Marines)

Lily Be (Activist, Grown Folks Stories)

and me (a nobody)

Hosted by Bill Hillmann (Founder, Creator, Writer, Voice)

All the press Windy City Story Slam has got:

Bill Hillman Talks to Rick Kogan WGN Radio

Irvine Welsh Interview for Red Eye with WCSS Finalists

Chicagoist Irvine Welsh Interview with WCSS Finalists

WBEZ’s Eight Forty-Eight Features Finalists

Vimeo Video of Semi-Finals